Whats in your Tool Kit?
“Gentle dying is all about helping people to die in the best possible way for them ‘
Felicity Warner
Each person each life is unique, and so ultimately is each death. If I want bear witness to this process, empowering and enabling the dying and their loved ones to live this process in the most healing meaningful way for them all, then a variety of tools and resources may be required, But what tools can I bring to this situation.
Everything begins with intent. Take time to question your intent for this person. Is your head ruling your heart? Is your lower ego getting in the way of what your companion is asking. Are you free to be in their space to listen and just to be? If your deepest intent is to achieve the very best for your companion, to be guided by their needs and wants, then hold onto this as it’s arguably one of your most valuable tools in your kit. Once your intent is set how to help your friend die in the best way possible for them, then there are many many tangible tools which can be useful in this process.
Every person is made up of atoms and molecules vibrating to their own resonance, as a result of their lifetime of physical emotional and spiritual conditioning. So as death approaches each persons journey is unique to them. However there are certain similarities which can assist us. In most cultures and traditions there is an acknowledgment of some invisible force or energy which permeates each individual, and work can be done to bring calm healing and balance as required by working with these energy centres. Often referred to as Chakras these energy centres can be identified by names numbers or colours
For example if you feel that the dying person is struggling with love or forgiveness then by simply have a piece of green silk in view can be of subtle assistance. Of if they had trouble expressing themselves then something blue may help them to open up their voice. It may or may not work, but if you were thinking or placing a table cloth on a side table then it may as well be a colour in keeping with your intent.
Whether the plant is to heal the body or the spirit… what makes it work is your good intention towards the plant…
Guillermo Arevalo
Flower remedies such as bach flower or Australian Bush flower essences, distil the essence of the flower which when applied subtly can help bring about healing and change or assist with transition.
“Crab Apple – for toxicity especially after chemotherapy
Elm – for feeling overwhelmed by a situation
Olive – for exhaustion
Sweet Chestnut – Anxious thoughts”
Soul midwives Handbook Felicity Warner 2013
Australian Bush flower essence Lichen for example can assist the etheric and the physical bodies to separate in preparation for passing over
Also a combination transition essence contains Autumn Leaves, Bauhinia, Bottlebrush, Bush Iris, Lichen, Mint Bush, Red Grevillea and Silver Princess. This combination can help to
“Ease the fear of death as well as helping one come to terms with it. This remedy, consequently, allows one to easily and gently pass over with calmness, dignity and serenity.”
Australian Bush flower essences Ian white 1996
There are also essential oils which can be infused into massage oil or cream such as Gold Frankincense and Myrhh. These oils can be very beneficial in anointing or creating ritual and ceremony for your companion.
Finally Ceremony, Ritual, and vigil can also be powerful tools in assisting your companion with their journey toward death and crossing their threshold. There is no right or wrong way to hold and conduct such a ceremony, as long as your heart is full of love, compassion and the best intent for our companion. It is also very important that our personal preparation before holding such space is clear and unambiguous.
What tools are in your toolbox?