Ethos
What is Mary Eleanors ethos and what does this word actually mean? I’ve been told it’s different from our mission and vision statement. Gosh, that was hard enough to discern the difference between in the first place, and now they are throwing Ethos at me! So Mr Google has come to what I hope will be my rescue. Ethos according to Mr Google is
“What is the character of something and how does it manifest?”
Well that’s my simple take on it anyway. So what is the character of Mary Eleanor and how does this manifest? To define this we need to ask who makes up Mary Eleanor, and what defines their character, so lets start with Mary Eleanor herself.
From my heartfelt memories, Mary Eleanor Bamford was a gentle woman, who cared enormously for those around her. She didn’t ask for much but gave an awful lot. She was unconditional in her acceptance and love.
Her hands were weathered, large and gnarled from a lifetime of hard work, but always they had a soft gentle touch. You felt warm and secure when held within their grasp.
I have very few memories of my early years but those that stand out usually include her softness, gentleness and acceptance.
Who am I?
I am strong, weak, resilient, caring, selfish, giving, present, focused and driven. I am human, I am the sum of my family history of genetics as well as their inherited struggles and triumphs. Through this I am the sum of my parents, their struggles and triumphs as well as my own.
How then does all this manifest? I have no attachment to earth, and death has always had a presence in my life. I can’t count how many times death has impacted upon me directly. Whether through friends, family or close associations, I have always questioned what is beyond the threshold of this earthly life.
One of my first childhood memories was attending a funeral when I was around 4 years old. My grandmother's (Mary Eleanor) death when I was 12 got me deeply thinking deeply about life after death. How could this beautiful grandmother of mine, so full of gentleness and love, NOT be admitted into the world of fluffy clouds and endless ice cream when she died? for no other reason than we were different religions. As I continued to grow up, deaths presence came knocking on my door of consciousness time after time. In high school, a mother of a good friend and the boyfriend of another. It then took my other grandparents, who were another religion all together, setting off another great avenue of consideration about what happens after we die. The list goes on and on, possibly culminating in the hardest most intimate death of all, my own baby.
I never made all these associations and thought ‘right that’s it I am going to start my own funeral home’. Its’ only as I stumbled into this work I thought hah! what a coincidence, I was connecting all the dots.
Our Ethos Statement
Mary Eleanor was founded in love. Love for the person who has inspired its name, love for those who have gone before us, for those who are left behind, and love for ourselves and our earth. Through this love we are characterised by our caring, gentleness, presence and acceptance. Our ethos is to meet people where they are at, and walk gently beside them, guiding them through the mire of grief and loss to create something for their loved one that is real and memorable. Our hands are warm and secure, supporting others through their vulnerability at a time of deep loss. Our belief is that there is something bigger than just ourselves at play in the universe. There is an interconnectedness between ourselves, the earth, and the sky. Not only in what we can see but also in what we can not. With this conviction, we can hold space for the dead and their loved ones knowing that they are never too far away from each other. This is of great reassurance to all and enables us to do what we do with a whole heartedness and authenticity. Wholehearted that we use our head, heart and hands to offer all we can for those who seek our services. Authentic in that we try to ‘keep it real’. Death is hard, grieving is perhaps harder, but within all of this if we see it, face it and perhaps even embrace it. We can move through it uplifted and grateful for all that was, all that is and all that is yet to come.